ILYA SOMIN: Over 80 percent of Americans support “mandatory labels on foods containing DNA”. Just dismantle the government school system right now. It’s certainly doing us no good.

If the government does impose mandatory labeling on foods containing DNA, perhaps the label might look something like this:

This product contains deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). The Surgeon General has determined that DNA is linked to a variety of diseases in both animals and humans. In some configurations, it is a risk factor for cancer and heart disease. Pregnant women are at very high risk of passing on DNA to their children.

Well played.