APPARENTLY THIS IS NEWS: Young man voluntarily mutilates genitals, calls self woman. Actual headline: “Andreja Pejic Comes Out As A Transgender [sic] Woman.” Key quotation: “One of my earliest memories is spinning around in my mom’s skirt trying to look like a ballerina.” First thought: No father. Correct: “The couple divorced shortly after Pejić’s birth.”

Also, it appears that the mutilation procedure doesn’t involve getting rid of the Adam’s apple.