WHOOPS: Fear of “Blaming Victims” Perpetuates Bullying.
The field of psychology has been steadily adopting a legal paradigm of interpersonal problems. In this model, one side is determined to be the victim who is innocent and not required to change, and the other side is the abuser or bully who is guilty and must do the changing. . . .
As a result, psychology has gradually been transforming itself from a branch of science that searches for truth into a branch of law enforcement fighting for the rights of victims against abusers and bullies. One basic tenet of this law enforcement approach is that “one must never blame a victim.” . . .
In order to solve my problem I need to take responsibility for it. But how can I possibly take responsibility if I have no way of knowing what I am doing wrong? So when I work with people, I show them through role-playing how their current efforts to solve the problem are ineffective or counterproductive, and I teach them how to solve their problem almost effortlessly, without anyone’s help and without getting anyone in trouble. But today, with our legalistic approach to psychology, many people think that since I am teaching victims how to solve their problems by themselves, I am blaming them. . . .
The truth is, if people are repeatedly picking on me, the only person who can reliably get them to stop is me. But as long as I rely on others to stop them, I don’t possess a solution. And as long as society continues trying to eradicate bullies rather than teaching people the wisdom to be immune to them, the bullying “epidemic” will continue.